Day 2 of Customer Appreciation Week: We're Really Kind And We Cuss A Lot

Today, we're excited to feature The Captain, a writer we discovered on Instagram in 2016, not long before our life-changing shit storm. While we've never met this tall drink of snarky-water in person, his work has greatly influenced the way we deal with the unexpected and shifted our interests in dark subjects from all-out avoidance to new curiosities and intriguing rabbit holes. 

He's not a real captain, he just plays one on social media, and about 293K followers on Instagram have come to rely on him for laughs, perspectives, and practical advice. Most of his followers are in the 20-40 age and his quips can be enjoyed by people of all ages; as long as they don’t have an aversion to dark topics, four-letter words, and graphic (yet accurate), descriptions. (Basically, he's the human version of our shirt with the saying I'm Really Kind But I Cuss A Lot. And if that kind of style bothers you, ours will probably bother you, too.) 

Here's the kicker about The Captain--he's not rainbows and unicorns. He's not overly cheerful or sunshiney. He's a shark that loves to travel solo, does whatever he wants (with in reason, obviously), enjoys dark and twisted stories in history and stays in haunted houses ON PURPOSE. Basically, he's everything we aren't. And yet, we couldn't be more fascinated about him, his words, and his perspectives.

Don’t let the sailor vocabulary and heavily decorated real estate between his neck and his feet fool you; while he’s more than comfortable challenging societal conventions, he’s a FIERCE advocate for humanity, the Oxford comma (proper grammar in general), and integrity. He’s a staunch supporter of empathy, individuality, and cat patterned button-downs, while eschewing habits of complacency, conformity, and entitlement. He follows his own path, makes his own rules, and sets his own standards. He gives zero fucks about living up to other’s expectations. 

So how did we become so intrigued with this dude, you ask? 

The National Shit Show of 2016 (i.e. the Presidential Election) happened in concert with the shit show happening in my personal life (you can read more here) and I surprisingly found The Captain’s material to be one of the only places where I found solace and refuge. Many times during my mom's ten day hospital stay, I would find myself taking a break from the clinical information overload in a random hospital waiting room, curled up in the corner reading The Captain's posts of new and old. (I mean really old posts that normally would've embarrased me for creeping so hard but because of the circumstance at the time, I didn't give a fuck about it looking creepy and I don't give a fuck about it now.) Not only did his work make me laugh when I never thought I'd laugh again, but it also gave me hope to face a world without my parents one day. (I always KNEW that "one day" would happen, but NEVER thought about it acutally happening, and as independent as I may be, I'm not afraid to admit this scares the fuck outta me.) Most of all, he helped me understand how vital it is for humanity to mix both the light and dark and neither factor can live on their own. 

Because The Captain and his material have impacted the way we handle the unexpected, we carry at least one of The Captain's books in our shop, signed by The Captain himself. 

So for today’s giveaway, we're sharing The Captain’s literary magic with you in the form of a couple of signed books (by The Captain himself) and a fancy ass print with HIS famous quote about sharks and Mondays (and also his signature). And last but not least, we’re giving away a year’s subscription to Dear Captain, a weekly advice newsletter that’s both entertaining and intelligent.

I’d wish you good luck but as The Captain says, luck is for losers.